Adopting a child is a life-long commitment that raises many questions in the mind, especially for someone that is considering doing it. We are delighted to have a real-life adoptive mother attempt to provide answers to some of these questions from her personal experience.
Nearly three years ago, Ugandan celebrity TV personality Rukh Shana Namuyimba took the first step towards realizing her dream of adopting a child. She was overwhelmed with joy and fulfillment when she finally held her daughter Laura for the very first time, then only four months old. Rukh Shana has confessed that becoming a parent is her greatest achievement in life so far, and her life is evidently transformed daily as she watches her little angel grow. In this video, Rukh Shana answers common questions on the adoption process to give an insight into what it takes.
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You too can transform your life and more importantly, that of a Ugandan child today by opening your heart and home to them. Contact us on email [email protected] or call +256 (0)776110304
Our team crossed paths with London based Erina Nalwoga while working on a joint adoption project. On hearing her amazing story about being raised in foster care, we could not help but ask her to share her life story with our supporters. Below we bring you Erina’s story in her own words:
Who is Erina?
My name is Erina, I am 28 years old and was born in Kampala, Uganda. I came to London at the age of 4 and was in foster care by the age of 5. I remained in long term foster care with the Government holding parental responsibility for me until the age of 23 when I graduated from University. I hold a BA Hons. in Creative Advertising Strategy and am currently studying part time for a Masters degree in Migration and Diaspora Studies at SOAS, University of London.
Since the age of 18, I have been committed to re-shaping the care system for those that follow and not only inspiring other young people to do the same but empowering them to step forward and make a difference. I currently work for the UK’s oldest running children’s charity Coram as a Programme Manager.
Tell us about your childhood
Being only 4 when I came to London, my memory of Kampala as a child is limited. However, I do have vague memories of my grandmother’s blue house where I stayed in Kagoma and the nursery school I went to just a few minutes’ walk from the house. My dad is an aircraft engineer and my birth mum still owns a small shop somewhere in Kampala.
My dad came to London first and I followed with my uncle maybe a year or so after that, leaving my mum in Kampala. Due to ongoing incidents, I was placed with a foster family from the Caribbean in East London. Although this was initially meant to be a short term (interim) placement that was only supposed to last up to five weeks, I ended up staying with this family for five years. Many of my morals and values which I carry today were formed whilst with this family.
Although I lived with other families thereafter, the upbringing from that first family always stayed with me. How has growing up in foster care shaped your life and career?
Being fostered allowed me to experience the love of a stable, well-functioning family, along with other families that did not work so well – which I learnt so much from also. Growing up in family care has given me a very balanced view of life and what can be achieved, no matter what your start in life was like.
Tell us about your work
Whilst I was at university I started working with the international charity Barnardos in their Children’s Rights Department along with some other young people and for the first time, I noticed the solidarity, perseverance, resilience and power that care-experienced young people have and how that can be used to advocate for change within the system.
So, since the age of about 20, I have been committed to making a difference in the lives of children and young people coming in after fostering and adoption. All the work that I do is to show that these young people are inspired, ambitious, determined, intelligent, and hardworking and have the fact that they were raised in foster care only as an addition to their profile; not the opening line.
Why do think it is important for children to grow up in families?
I think it is extremely important for children to grow up in families. Children need to feel loved, they need attention, they need stability and they need to have a sense of belonging. Growing up in an orphanage with many other children, each with different individual needs does not echo how the majority of their peers grow up, nor does it give them a well-rounded, balanced upbringing. Not every child is the same, and that statement shouldn’t be taken lightly. However, should there be a choice of whether to raise a child in an orphanage or in a committed and loving family, I would choose the latter every time.
Any last words for the Ugandans Adopt supporter who is thinking about taking that first step towards foster care or adoption?
If you’re thinking about it, your heart is already there. Take the leap and make a difference to a child who is unable to speak up for what they really want.
Pastor Peter Kasisrivu of Gaba Community Church preaching.
GABA COMMUNITY CHURCH ANSWERS THE CALL TO PLACE CHILDREN IN FAMILIES.
Why we place children in Families.
We’ve always known that children thrive in a loving family, be that with their own relatives, traced, resettled and supported by our social workers, or with a new adoptive family. At Ugandans Adopt , we’re ambitious, and we believe family care is all a child should ever know. Through the love of a parent, a child learns to form bonds and healthy attachments. The amazing thing is that if a child learns this with a foster carer, this bond can be passed on to a mother or father when reunited, or to an adoptive parent. What’s important is that the child hasn’t missed out on learning this, which can happen as the result of time spend in institutional care during the formative months and years.
Gaba Community Church
We’ve just launched an exciting partnership with Gaba Community Church in Uganda. This partnership is a result of the Pastors’ Conference that we co-organised with Gaba Community Church, CARNAC , and Lifeline Children’s Service on February 19th 2015.
As a result the church community have made a commitment to foster abandoned children while we trace for their families. The children will experience the love of a family, as well as the community support of the extended family of the church.
“Some of you are the fathers these children need, some of you are the mothers these children need. Are you willing to open your home to life?”, Pastor Peter Kasirivu, Gaba Community Church
On Sunday 28th June , the church organised a Children’s Sunday themed ‘Children in families’ to encourage the congregation to open their hearts and their homes. Pastor Peter Kasirivu the Senior pastor at Gaba Community Church, a part of African Renewal Ministries and a strong advocate of children in loving families asked his congregation: “Some of you are the fathers these children need, some of you are the mothers these children need. Are you willing to open your home to life?”
He later explained his commitment to family care for children:
“As a Christian, I know I was adopted by God. Because I was helped, I want to help. Institutions cannot provide what a family can. There are thousands of children who need help, so I hope that my congregation open up. But I also hope that other churches see what we have done, that they may also up. I believe what we have done here can be done by many churches. I feel like we can be an example, a catalyst for what can be done amongst other church bodies in the country of Uganda. I really believe that with the families we have in this country, there is no reason why a child should be on the street.”
One lady in the congregation was very moved by the call to action and said that she often cares for
Congregation of Gaba Community Church
children within the church community on an ad hoc basis, and sees fostering as an extension of the way that the church community already works: “The children I have been looking after have parents who can afford to care for them, I am definitely happy to foster a child who has no family”.
At the end of the service, the congregation was encouraged to visit the information point which they did in big numbers. A number of families and individuals filled out Expressions of interest forms to either foster or adopt the children from Loving Hearts’ Babies Home, a home run by the church.
We are proud of the great start to our pilot partnership with Gaba Community Church. We look forward to partnering with more Ugandan churches. If you or your church is interested in having us present or partnering with us on a similar project please call us on 0776110304 or email us at [email protected] . We look forward to hearing from you.
WHY WE SHOULD ALL FOSTER UGANDA’S ABANDONED CHILDREN.
Doreen at home with one of the children in her care
At her home in the suburbs of Wakiso, Doreen Kyomugisha cuddles and rocks four months old Anita who is making innocent baby noises without a care in the world. Before long, she is asleep and is taken to bed. 8 months old Peter wakes up almost immediately, “that is their sleeping sequence,” Kyomugisha says while emerging from the bedroom with him. Peter is a very bubbly baby who doesn’t cry for all the time I am there.
The social worker who I go with to Kyomugisha’s home is surprised that Peter no longer cries, “he used to cry a lot, I’m surprised he is calm now,” she quips.
Looking at these two babies, you could think they are Kyomugisha’s children, until you hear their plight, a plight no one would want to have.
Anita’s mother left her at a witch doctor’s home, she came on a boda boda, entered the house and asked for 5,000/= to pay the boda boda cyclist, the witch doctor’s daughter who was home told her she didn’t have money, Anita’s mum then asked to leave Anita with her for a short time so that she could go to her friend who lived in the neighbourhood and get money to pay. She told the same story to the cyclist, Anita’s mother never returned. Peter was left at a verandah in Wakiso at 10:00p.m in the night. Peter is believed to have been five days old because his umbilical cord hadn’t fallen off yet.
Whereas the babies thrived health wise when they were brought, they were not coping up socially, Peter would throw a lot of tantrums while Anita was too withdrawn. Kyomugisha took them on under the short term foster care programme that was being piloted at Ugandans Adopt.
Short term foster care
For years Ugandans have Many abandoned babies end up in institutional care and orphanages which are potentially harmful to the mental and physical development of such children.
According to UNICEF statistics, as many as eight million children are spending their precious and irreplaceable childhood in institutions. In most cases, the children are receive food, clothes, a cot or bed, an education and a roof over their heads but they never get the love, support and sense of identity that only a loving family can give. Family life is critical to a child’s healthy development. Without it, children suffer great harm and are deeply damaged.
According to Immaculate Atwine Byaruhanga, a Transitional Care Manager, short term foster care or emergency foster care is where abandoned children are placed with loving families who provide temporary care in a real home and family. “The organization continues providing for the child’s basic needs like education and health, all one has to do is provide a home and love for the child, so that they don’t have delayed milestones,” she adds.
While a child is being cared for in this way, social workers will try and trace their relatives and reunite the child with their family, if those attempts are unsuccessful, a child can go on to be placed permanently with loving Ugandan adoptive parents. Whatever the outcome, whether resettlement or adoption, in the meantime the child will have been loved, supported and nurtured in a real family. The child will have started to form secure attachments which they can continue to develop when placed with a permanent family.
Where as Long-term foster care is when neither family resettlement nor adoption are a viable option, long-term fostering gives a child the chance to grow up loved in a family until they reach the age of 18. In some cases, children have family but, due to child protection issues, cannot be resettled with them. In this instance, the next best option is finding an alternative family to bring them up as their own
”It also provides an opportunity for foster parents considering adoption to stay with a child and see if they are compatible’ , says Mr. James Kaboggoza Sembatya on Fostering and adoption.
According to James Kaboggoza Ssembatya, the Assistant Commissioner of Children’s Affairs at the Ministry of Gender, Labour and Social Development the concept of Short Term Foster Care ensures children are not subjected to institutional care. This enables the child the child to grow up in a family setting. ”It also provides an opportunity for foster parents considering adoption to stay with a child and see if they are compatible”, he adds.
Could you provide a loving home?
Ugandans Adopt is piloting a short term foster care programme. Though abandoned, these children deserve to grow up in a family setting, rather than be raised in an institution without a family. Short term foster care makes a significant and lasting difference to a child’s health and happiness, giving them the best possible start in life and a happy yet healthy future.
You can give an abandoned child the love and care they need until a loving family is found for them. If you have room in your heart and home to provide an abandoned baby with a loving family, Ugandans Adopt would love to hear from you.Ugandans Adopt is calling upon all Ugandan families and individuals who are able and willing to care for abandoned Ugandan children for short term foster care to reach them.
Who can foster?
Almost any adult over 21 can apply to be a Foster Carer, but as with any career, some people will be more suited than others. You do not need any formal qualifications to become a Foster Carer. However, you do need skills and experience that will enable you to meet the needs of a child. You can apply to foster regardless of your marital or residential status. Your suitability will be independently assessed and vetted by a Government panel.
Below is a video that sheds light on Short Term Foster Care
Rukh-shana serves Twinkle toes cake on her third birthday
We asked Rukh-Shana, adoptive mother and Ugandans Adopt heroine, to give us an update on her adoption journey. In her own words, she tells us how Twinkletoes is keeping her on her toes:
KEEPING UP WITH MY TWINKLETOES-RUKH-SHANA
Rukh-Shana serves Twinkletoes cake on her third birthday at the Babies Home where her birthday was celebrated. .Photo courtsey of Ugandans Adopt
The date is 30th March 2015. It’s 10:30am and I should be dashing for my morning cup of tea but I am stuck at my desk neck deep in routine stuff attempting to pull together a report that should have been submitted the night before. Even as I am propped up behind my desk, my mind racing a mile a minute with all the things I need to get done before the new month, my mind wanders off to a happy place. It is my little girl’s birthday today and we had a tantrum-free morning, can’t quite recall what that felt like, so I am delighted with her. My mind wanders further off to what seems like a distant time. A time when I prided myself in being nimble and swift on my feet, a busy body with never a dull moment in my life, always colliding with time…then came Twinkletoes, and in the blink of an eye I was a snail dragging my shell on the race track of life alongside this toddler who was suddenly in an insane rush to go places; to see the big beautiful world through her twinkling eyes. I have since then been trying to keep up with my Twinkletoes.
And speaking of the world, my rather controlled world has never been the same since she flung the doors wide open and came waltzing in. Twinkletoes was just four months when we met on that beautiful Monday evening. Well I think it was a Monday because on a Friday I dressed up for my big day with the adoption panel-all butterflies in my belly and with knees of jelly. My prayer was simple that morning, “Lord may Your will be done!” I still muse at just how our plans can take a twist for the better. Now, when I set on out on my adoption journey in 2012, I had it all figured out. She had to be between 8 and 12months old – young enough to bond quite easily and old enough to fit it into my crazy work schedule. My life needed to maintain a semblance of sane balance as I knew it…I suppose I was simply being ME – in control. But in came Twinkletoes, a sparkly sunshine, a voluble wind turning my structured world sweetly topsy-turvy. One moment I was grounded and the next, I was knocked off- balance falling flat on my face in a fit of joy with outbursts of tears and the momentary tittering on the brink of insanity.
Twinkletoes with Mum. Photo courtesy of Rukh-Shana Namuyimba.
Three years on, ours has been a beautiful journey of watching her grow from this shy, thumb- sucking child to a very persuasive, independent and absolutely crazy thumb-sucking toddler who decided at the age of two that she mostly preferred to wear little dresses instead of the shorts and tees her over bearing mother had filled her closet with. Yes, I was a tom boy after all and I didn’t quite have the luxury of defiantly pouting at my mother if she suggested I wear some hand-me-down boyish shorts. So I was quite taken aback when my Twinkletoes proved to be tenacious in getting what she wanted. My mother says I may not have been a tenacious tot but I most definitely turned out to be as tenacious as they come later in life so I should cut Twinkle some slack. So for the most part I have cut her some slack, perhaps too much, and as a result she does mostly get what she wants. I suppose she has found a soft spot and is quite intent on milking it for what it’s worth.
Speaking of soft spots Ma Petite, as I sometimes refer to her has a soft spot for hurting people. I have watched as she has, through the years, blossomed into an expressive and caring little girl especially around other children; quick to offer hugs if that is what it takes to make someone else feel better.
On motherhood Rukh-Shana says,”And speaking of the world, my rather controlled world has never been the same since she flung the doors wide open and came waltzing in”. Photo courtesy of Rukh-Shana NamuyimbaT
This morning, as I reflect on the year gone by, my heart swells with pride at the little milestones of awesomeness we have reached together. The day we went shopping for nursery schools and when we finally settled for her current school she was a fit of delight. Every day till the first day of term we fought over her insistence that she wear her uniform at home and carry her little rucksack to the door as I left for work. This would almost always end with a tantrum that quietened down with me promising she would start school the next day (yes I lied but what do you do with a tenacious 2 plus year old who will not take ‘wait a little longer’ for an answer?) …and when we finally showed up on the first day of school, I was a weeping mess and she was only too delighted to mix and mingle with the other little kids. Then came the first time she randomly said, “I love you mummy”. We had just had a ‘fight’ so that totally threw me off balance and I could not hold back the tears, her response was a shocker: “Mummy you’re kwaying (read crying) for nothing.” That was the beginning of my transformation into a crying mummy.
I have since shed a tear or two during her first swimming lesson; her first mumbled prayer with a resounding AMEN; her first Sunday school session; her first attempt at brushing her own teeth; her first bicycle ride. But the most treasured of our milestones is her learning my full name, probably from watching TV and her daddy’s name. She still cannot say her daddy’s without almost biting her tongue but whenever she does it is with such a sweetness like nothing else really matters in her little world. And perhaps nothing really does to my Twinkletoes and many like her. Nothing really matters but that they have unconditional love and a family to call their own.
The end.
To wrap up this heart warming story, Rukh-Shana talks about her adoption experience and why more Ugandans should consider opening their hearts and homes to Ugandan children in the video below:
Could you be the next Rukh-shana? We would love to hear from yo. Call us on 0776110304/0776110316 or send us an email @ [email protected]
Why the Post Placement support service?
In the past, Ugandan families looked after children from within their kinship network and sometimes these children were ‘adopted’. In other circumstances, people took on the care of non-kin children and made these their own. These children were also referred to as ‘adopted’.
As such, there are a good number of Ugandan families who have ‘adopted’ and yet the children have grown up believing they are biological children of their families. Telling a child they are adopted has majorly been considered a taboo, something one cannot and is not permitted to disclose leave alone talk about. More people are becoming aware of formal adoption and many people will or have already started considering the need to tell their child their adoption story or the story could be accidentally be let out by someone else. However, they lack the ‘knowhow’ to do this. This is where the post placement support service comes in.
In addition once a family adopts according to Ugandan law, the family is closely monitored and supported during the 3 years of fostering before adoption. During this period, a family has regular contact with their social worker and placing child care agency. However, we realized that there is a gap in support and service provision after the 3 years period has elapsed. Families will have often felt isolated, abandoned and unsupported. This is likely to create opportunities for placements to break down causing significant emotional damage for both the child and family involved. What is the Post placement Support Service/Center about?
On behalf of the Government of Uganda (Ministry of Gender, Labor and Social Development) through the Ugandans Adopt campaign, The Post Placement Support Service is an initiative by Families For Children (an umbrella of over 150 Ugandan NGOs working with vulnerable children) and Child’s i Foundation through Ugandans Adopt .It is going to be jointly facilitated Staff members of these two child welfare organizations and the Ugandans Adopt team. Its activities will be reported to the Ministry of Gender Labour Social Development. The Post placement support Service / Center will begin operations in August 2014
Where we are right now.
The Post Placement Team attends a training by Child Psychologist, Sarah Mirembe .
In April and May we held discussions about the service and had meeting with our partners. In June 2014 we had a number of trainings of key staff on specialist areas of support. This month we will have a Workshop with MoGLSD to create awareness and then the service will be launched in August 2014
Through this service we aim to provide ongoing free support and become a ‘one stop shop’ for both fostering and adoptive families and their children in areas of need such as;
What next the child is finally home
What support to expect from their social workers
What support to expect from the probation service
Where to go for: counseling, behavioral management, emotional health issues, legal support
Family does not get the social work service they deserve or don’t get along with their social workers
They are worried about their child
Where to get training
etc
The service will empower foster and adoptive families with the right information to manage their situation(s).
Who is the service for?
A national country wide service
Adoptive Parents- local and international
Adoptees
Relatives/friends of adopters
Foster carers
Social workers
Foster children.
Individual office or home visits
What services are being offered?
Support with adoption order application
Support with care orders
Support finding a good trusted specialist – Lawyer, child psychologist etc
Support with Probation Office issues
Independent social work support
Telling a child they are adopted
Telling families and friends about an adoption
Life story work and memory book/box
Sign posting to Counseling for adoptees
Sign posting to Counseling for Adoptive Parents
Parenting skills support
Behavioral management guidance for parents
Link for any issues relating to adoption and fostering
A helping hand to navigate the adoption and fostering process
The support when agency social work support comes to an end after fostering period
Resource centre for information; books; journals?, testimonies, surveys, research etc.
How do I access this service?
On the Ugandans Adopt campaign website and Face book page.
While Rukh-shana is a familiar face on the Weekend Edition news on NTV Uganda, she is also a doting Mum who is very passionate about her country Uganda . We recently caught up with her to talk about what makes her tick , motherhood and why she joined the Ugandans Adopt Campaign. In part 1 of the interview Rukh-shana discusses the Ugandans Adopt Campaign and her adoption journey.
Who is Rukh-shana?
Rukh-shana
Rukh-shana: She is a normal young woman who believes life is to be lived with passionate purpose and purposeful passion. Every day presents opportunities to do just that, and she grabs them with both hands.
What is the Ugandans Adopt campaign?
Rukh-shana: Ugandans Adopt is a multi-media Campaign supported by the Government of Uganda under the Ministry of Gender, Labor and Social development. The campaign aims to find Ugandan families and individuals willing and capable of giving Ugandan children a future by opening their homes and heart through adoption. The Ugandans Adopt team also offers guidance, support and resources before, during and after the adoption process. This is done through constant updates on Facebook, twitter and the Ugandans Adopt website. In addition to organizing pre and post adoption training sessions, they organize regular coffee mornings and social events for prospective and adoptive parents, most of which I have attended.
Why did you join the Ugandans Adopt Campaign/cause?
Rukh-shana: I joined the cause because I strongly believe that Ugandans can provide loving families and homes for Ugandan children who are forced to spend their lives in institutions. We can’t continue to sit back and watch Western families come and take our children away. These children could very well be our nieces and nephews.
What does adoption mean to you?
Rukh-shana: To me, adoption simply means giving a child of no blood relation a chance at the life I had, with a decent home, a loving family and an identity. What’s more, it’s about the chance to belong, to grow into his or her destiny, and the chance to truly live.
Rukh-shana (highlighted) with fellow adoptive parents at a social event organised by Ugandans Adopt.
How did you come to adopt a wonderful little girl?
Rukh-shana:
When I was in my twenties, I knew I always wanted to adopt a baby, even though I plan on having birth children. But I didn’t know much about the processes, and wrongly believed I needed to be rich to afford it. Over three years ago, I watched a talk show which was part of the Ugandans Adopt campaign on adoption and it helped demystify the issue for me. I started by finding out as much as I could about adoption and eventually took the plunge. The rest is history, and I have never looked back.
What advice/tips would you give to other people who are thinking of adopting a child?
Rukh-shana: I think many people know they want to adopt, but find it hard to turn their dreams into action. If you are considering adoption, you need to get enough information for you to feel ready to open your heart and home to a new member of the family. It’s a challenging step, so it is important that you are prepared: once you take the plunge, there is no turning back.
Recently Pastor Mark Kigozi a renowned motivational speaker and TV presenter with NBS TV visited us to express his interest in adopting from us. Below we bring you the real life story of Pastor Mark who together with his wife Maureen have three children, two of whom are adopted.
Pastor Mark and wife Maureen
In 1998, I fell in love with the most wonderful lady, Maureen. I had just made up my mind to follow my dream to become a Youth Pastor at Kampala Pentecostal Church, now Watoto Church. Maureen was the Youth Choir Leader and I was Youth Head, so working together gave us the time to build a solid relationship. It was a great courtship and we were married on 1st May 1999.
Little did we know it would be a long time until we could have a child. After four years of waiting, Maureen suggested we adopt a child. After all, there was no reason why we could not give a child the opportunity of having a place to call home and parents of its own. We were already opening our home to many teenagers who found comfort with us. Our lives were an open book. They spent nights tagging along on mission trips and ministry. We also did our best to be there for them when they needed a listening ear or helping hand.
Yet these teenagers only came to us for what they missed out at home and eventually had to go back. Yet there were many children out there who were rejected, and we knew we could give them a loving home. Our adoption journey saw us visit a number of orphanages until we zeroed in on Sanyu Babies Home.
The choice of picking the first child fell upon me. I had always longed to have a little girl and so Maureen preferred that I make the final decision. Something drew me to a little baby girl, just three months of age, asleep in the hands of one of the caretakers. Before long she was in our care and we gave her the name Melissa, Kirabo Miracle Kigozi – Kirabo meaning” gift”. It was a delight to see her grow up and call us Daddy and Mummy. She is now 10 years of age.
When Melissa turned two, she decided that she needed a sibling and this time we wanted a boy. Since chemistry works better with opposites, it was Maureen’s turn to make the final decision. She said she had dreamt about this boy and seen his face.
The Kigozi’s : Maureen, Melissa, Pastor Mark, Melody, Eddie ( a friend of the family) and Maxwell
We went back to Sanyu Babies Home and met the little boys there. After interacting with the little ones, Maureen asked the person in charge if there was any other boy in their care. And there was one little boy playing by himself in the play room. Maureen asked to meet him and it was love at first sight!He was six months old and handsome. We went home with him after a few days and we named him Maxwell. Maxwell is now eight years old and is in P3. Our two children are a source of joy and fulfillment to us; above all, they are such good friends.
About a year and eight months ago, God blessed us with a daughter, Melody. She was an unexpected gift that we received with gratitude. Her siblings, Maxwell and Melissa, had been praying for her and the love her to bits. She is our third born, so we are now a complete family of three!
Our children are all gifts from God and we treat them in order of advent. Many couples fear to adopt due to stigma from society. But we see adoption as a miracle from God and a ministry to children and God. Sometimes we wonder what would have become of our lovely children if we did not have them in our family!
What if each family opened up their hearts and adopted a child? Wouldn’t that solve the problem of parentless and street children in our country? Wouldn’t that be pleasing to God and to the nation? Wouldn’t that be the answer for a rejected, parentless child crying on their own and asking why others have families and they don’t?
If you are considering adopting like Pastor Mark or fostering a child, we are very happy to answer any further questions that you may have. Please call Aidah on +25676110304 or email [email protected]. For more information and updates, like our Facebook page and follow us on twitter.
To watch Pastor Mark and Maureen’s adoption story, click on the video below:
Good social work is core to a smooth adoption or fostering process. Below we bring you the second excerpt of Social Worker Emmanuel’s interview. Emmanuel works with children and has been in the adoption and fostering field for years now. We hope you will enjoy the interview like we did:
In Social work, the child’s interests are paramount. What does that mean to you ? How do you apply it in your daily work?
We do everything possible to promote the welfare and well-being of our children. We’ve put structures in place that ensure each child is able to realise their full potential – now and as they grow up. My job means making decisions every day that will affect a child’s life. The question I always ask myself is: in whose interest is my decision? My answer should always be the child’s. For example, we had to make a very difficult decision to separate one our children from his foster mother’s care after discovering the dangers he was exposed to.
How do you work with families in these situations? Do you encounter any difficulties?
It’s very important that we try and help them understand the reasons why we are separating them. We meet with the child’s family to discuss the importance of child safety. We emphasise the needs of their child and the dangers they will be exposed to if something is not done immediately. Sometimes it might only be temporary as there are often opportunities to work with the family and improve their living conditions or otherwise. So there can be hope, too.
Emma with new arrival Ivan at a hospital where he was abandoned
At Ugandan’s Adopt we advocate for children being in families through domestic adoption and fostering: what do you think about this?
I think it’s a great thing that Ugandan children are being taken on and adopted by fellow Ugandans. Uganda doesn’t lose on her children as a future human resource and our children will be able to remain in their native country. It’s also very important to monitor the progress of adopted families and ensure the children are happy, healthy and continuing to thrive in their care. This is made much harder if they’re adopted internationally. I am happy that Ugandans are coming up to this cause
If you were speaking to someone who is considering adoption what would you say to them?
I would tell them they are doing a very noble thing by expending love and care to a child who needs them. The process can sometimes take longer than people expect but it is a very worthwhile and rewarding experience. Of course, adoption has its challenges but this is often no different from parenting your birth children.
Tell us about the most rewarding experience in your career so far?
It would have to be Andrew’s journey with us. He was admitted to Malaika Babies’ Home following a referral from a local police station. Andrew had been abandoned on a veranda outside someone’s home, who was known to his father. They kept him for a night with the hope that whoever left Andrew behind would come and pick him up but in the morning they reported the case to police.
As we tried to trace his family, I went back to the house where he was abandoned and discovered Andrew’s father had been in touch only two weeks before. We investigated the call logs which lead us to Andrew’s grandfather. We and told them about their grandchild which they didn’t know existed. They were so happy! After spending time together, we successfully resettled Andrew with his extended family. We’re very pleased with progress Andrew has made and we’ve continued to support the family, helping the grandfather to expand his piggery project and increase their household income. Andrew is happy, healthy and has formed strong bonds with his family.
“Adopting is a personal decision”, says Amelo an adoptive parent .Below we bring you the rest of the interview with this inspirational single mother
Adoptive parent Amelo with her beautiful daughter at Malaika Babies Home third birthday
My inspiration to adopt was influenced by my mother during my childhood. She worked as a Nurse at a hospital and took us to visit the orphans there, a number of times, when she was taking clothes she sewed at home for them. I vowed then that I would adopt a child and I am glad that I was able to fulfil it.
How is your adoption experience so far, has the experience been a good one?
I must say the adoption experience was not as traumatic as I thought it would be. This was because of Malaika Babies Home’s efficient structured approach to the process – assignment of social worker, brief of the process, assessment for adoption approval, follow up and assistance in the legal process, pre-bonding month with baby at Malaika Babies Home and a couple of day and sleep-over outings, handover of the baby and periodic follow-ups to check on baby and mother progress. It may sound like a long process; however, with all the requirements ready from my side, it took less than two months to complete the process.
How did the other siblings (if you have children) take to the new adopted child.
Sasha Mayowale Oluka came home at 3 months old, she has settled in well and is a very happy child. It is now one year since she came home. She was given the name ‘Mayowale’ by one of my friends and it means ‘you bring joy home’ in Yoruba language and living up to her name!
Was your family happy with your decision to adopt a child?
Yes, my family and friends were happy with my decision to adopt.They have been and still are very supportive in all ways, and so has Bishop Erwau of Soroti Diocese, Church of Uganda, whom I consulted prior to the adoption for reassurance of the Church’s position on it, and after the adoption, participated in the Christening Service.
Bishop Erwau of Soroti christening Sasha as Mum looks on.
In what ways has your social worker been helpful? Do you feel well supported by your social worker?
My social worker has been very, very, very supportive. I now see them as friends and not as ‘the people with stern faces on the other side of adoption paperwork’. I appreciate the time they have taken to attend Mayowale’s 1 year Birthday party and her Christening Celebration, outside the formal adoption visits.
What advice/tips would you give to other people who are thinking of adopting a child?
Adopting is a personal decision.
While you seek advice from family and friends, look for it outside family and friends, in order to get a balanced view, and help in making your decision.
Below is a video of Amelo and Sasha/Mary, it follows the adoption process from beginning to end through Child’s i Foundation.
